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Elegant, clean and modern Theme which offers a mighty Options Set to customize Aqua10 to your own needs. It has custom Blog, Portfolio and No-Sidebar Templates. Upload your own Logo and Socialize aqua10 with Facebook, Twitter and LinkedIn. A Multi-Level-Dropdown Menu and a flexible Slider featuring Posts and Pages will turn your WP Installation into an eye-catching Portfolio Website.

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I drink a bitter coffee
black, the way I wish
two days old, I drink it cold
to shame the loneliness

I eat a pickled sausage
not even on a dish
in a robe, no one to scold
to shame the loneliness

I watch the television
blank, and pictureless
I sit and stare, who would care
to shame the loneliness

I sleep like in a coffin
dreaming of a kiss
in my clothes, shoes and soles
to shame the loneliness

My hope for old
when floors are cold
we lay with no regret

like blowing trees
arms and knees
tangled tide of sweat

when all would think
the sun has drank
all passion from the breast

our secret soul
still sexual
put weary bones to test

grandchildren laugh
we take a bath
and tell them not to listen

they’ll roll their eyes
and act surprised
when wrinkled folks are kiss’n

you’ll tease my lips
with naughty nips
and tell me to be slow

my heart would blast
could be the last
what better way to go

to meet the end
two old friends
that know each hidden part

who’ve loved a life
man and wife
with tangled little hearts

The softest part of a woman

Is not where you may think

Behind the ears

in the mouth

or lips of petal pink

inside the knee

inner thigh

you still have not to find

the tender place…it’s not her face

or curve against the spine

her finger tips bloom of hips

the nipple, or the eyes

beneath the breast

just a test

to know you really tried

I just put down a podcast that used the word “relevant,” about a hundred times… this mixed with “radical” seems to get the justices flowing in your average Christian. Me? I’m ready for some new catch phrases, these are about 5 years old now.

I have’nt done any comics lately mostly because I just don’t feel funny. My wife would say I never was, but funny or not, here is the latest Merl Tob Comic. Enjoy!

This is not an attempt at a technical review of Melancholia, but more of a personal reflection on what this movie and Lars von Trier other movie Anti Christ have done to my soul. Of course there are no souls in Trier films, but I find that the impact that they have on me is a testament, at least to me, that I have a soul.

Melancholia succeeds where another epic movie this year, Tree of life, fails. It’s so hard through these two eyes and this little selfish brain, to step out side of myself and really try to comprehend the big picture. To think of our infinite smallness in such a vast universe. To somehow reconcile a wedding and it’s importance to us, and the farthest lonely planet of a seemingly endless emptiness of space. Melancholia does about as good of job as can be done in tossing our little circle of life into the great boiling pot of the void of millions of miles of darkness around us.

Trier’s movies are bad for me. I’m like an alcoholic knowing one drop can send me over the edge, but my drug is meaninglessness. His movies, like Ecclesiastics send me into a bad place. Melancholia, like Anti Christ, are as dark as it gets. And they plunge me into the secret fears that I try hard to hide. That constant refrain in ecclesiastics, “Meaningless, It’s all meaningless.. or vanity, or useless, which ever translation you use, rings in my ears day and night.

Melancholia is a Ecclesiastical view of life. That it is all meaningless. That what we do on this earth and in our little circle of life is laughable compared to the grander of emptiness around us. During the Part one of the film, I turned to my wife and said, I know this man, I know what he feels. He feels evil, and he thinks everyone else is evil, they just don’t know it. He’s saying the crazy one is actually the sane one, and the sane are crazy, because they live as if the world around them makes sense. And, the world is crazy.

I too feel that evil in me, like at Kirsten Dunst‘s wedding, I too am running around in this “sane” dramatic play humping on the golf course, fighting with the void inside me to act normal, because Kiefer Sutherland has invested so much in me. Kiefer makes a deal with Kirsten for him paying for the wedding, “be happy.” “Please just be happy,” I hear all around me chanting. “Don’t be so dark,” they say. Just run around and drink wine on the teras as the world ends. Think of your 18 hole golf course and blind yourself to the infinite darkness around you. Sedate your mind with the riches this world has to offer and turn away from the reality that thousands of Melancholias are crashing into the earth every day (death.)

“this world is evil,” Dunsts says, “life on earth is evil, no one will miss us.” It seems that this is not something that can be derived from just nature, this idea that not only am I evil, but everyone is evil. This smacks of the bible. I can say that I am evil because I know myself very well, but to come up with the idea that the very nice and benevolent Sutherland is evil, takes some kind of philosophy. I learn that not only I am evil, but all are evil from the pages of the bible. That puts me in the predicament Dunst is in. I know I’m evil, because I can’t contain it. But what about these people that do contain it? The answer is they do just that, contain it, with various devices.

In Melancholia, I feel there is several different ways of dealing with the same meaninglessness of life. There is the seemingly blissfully un-aware like Sutherland, then the sentimental dependent like Charlotte Gainsbourg, but the hero (which isn’t revealed until the end) is Dunst’s character. The one who looks at life’s vanity straight on and doesn’t flinch. She is the truly sane one because she doesn’t live in the delusion and she also knows what is more important at the end when Melancholia is about to end all existence. The answer is alleviation of pain.. at least in my eyes. Gainsbourg tries to hold on to the threads of sentimentality in the face of inhalation, which shows that her relationship with her son is really a facade, her love, it’s only a projection of her sentimentality which further proves her evil intent.

Like I said, this movie really fucked me up for a few days. This atheistic worldview is attractive to me for some reason. I think it started from a desire that there would be no God. Because I know, if there is a God, I’m in trouble. Because I’m the evil puzzle that all around me are trying to solve like Gainsbourg in Anti Christ. But in my times of sanity, or insanity, I don’t know which, I know that Trier is wrong. I know that there is a part three after the earth explodes. I think my wife said it best, “that’s it?” When the final scene comes, the earth destroyed, it fades to black, and thats the end. My wife was waiting for one more scene..I honestly don’t know what, but I think we all long for that next scene, and I think, if we’re honest with ourself, know that that is not it. Your soul will never fade to black and the credits role. It’s in this place, in the anticipation of a sequel that I need to live. Melancholia offers only one thing, the same thing Anti Christ offered, a great chasm of emptiness that as nietzsche said, no true atheist can avoid.

have you ever written a poem, a song, painted a picture, or anything else artistic and said to yourself, I just to talked to God. Have you then realized that no one will see or know this piece of art. Do you ask yourself why even do it. My counselor tells me the art is more for me than anyone else. I can’t swollow that. Today, I decided to write a song live on facebook. The song is simple, but it says everything I have wanted to say for years… and there it will sit. All alone, with no ears to hear. I know that God visited me when I wrote it. Maybe I should be satisfied with that. Well whatever. here it is:

God created eve with a sin in her heart.. the garden was good, but she wanted art

sad and loney
sure you wouldn’t know
falling here then apart
It’s time for you to go
heavens dark days
You? stick around?
When I need a friend
Your never found
the wine is flowwing
oh there you are
the sun in blaze
your never far
money? creative light?
that’s your thing.
when i’m drying up
a phone forever rings.
sure you’ll give a call
when near my deadly bride
got things to do?
that’s fine
I need not confide

What good I say
I ask in truth
What good are you
except in youth.